Former child star Jennette McCurdy reveals grooming 'red flag' she missed dating older man at 18

Jennette McCurdy called out what she described as a classic grooming line while opening up about dating a man twice her age when she was 18.

McCurdy spoke about the age-gap relationship and the common "red flag" to watch out for while promoting her debut novel. The former Nickelodeon star wrote "Half His Age," inspired by her own experiences.

The actress said her decision to date an older man at a young age felt justified at the time, shaped by a belief that she was unusually mature and emotionally self-sufficient. McCurdy recalled "thinking that [she] was mature, thinking that [she] was so smart that this could happen."

"I remember thinking like, 'Oh yeah, there's just something about me that's a little different. Like, I'm special.' That's what it felt like for me. I'm special, I can connect with older people, younger people aren't on my wavelength," she said during an appearance on "Call Her Daddy."

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McCurdy said the man used her perceived maturity to justify the age-gap relationship.

"It was, you know, 'You're so mature. I can't talk to anyone this way. I can't believe how smart you are,'" McCurdy recalled. "Like, are you kidding me? I was such an idiot. I'm so embarrassed. Also, how humiliating that he thought that was smart or even used being smart as a manipulation tactic because how stupid of him."

Podcast host Alexandra Cooper and McCurdy agreed the maturity comment was a "red flag."

"When you are in it, it may not feel like a red flag, but I think socially that concept has been spread around enough where people are like, 'Got it.' If a man is calling a woman f---ing mature for her age, please pause for five seconds and someone protect that young woman," Cooper emphasized.

McCurdy explained her boyfriend at the time disguised the power imbalance by making her feel like she had control.

"That it was ultimately my choice. That it was ultimately up to me. That ultimately, I was the one in charge. And I think if you feel really powerless, you'll take that bait," McCurdy explained. "You know, you'll take that, and you'll go, 'Okay, I really want that feeling of power even though my gut kind of knows this isn't that, I'll take what you're saying, and I'll try to run with it, and I'll try to make it into some semblance of power.' If you're that desperate for it, you will take the bait. And I think I did."

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McCurdy's first fiction novel comes as she adapts her 2022 memoir, "I'm Glad My Mom Died," into a TV show starring Jennifer Aniston as her mom. She wrote the book after unpacking her childhood trauma in the wake of her mother's death. Debra McCurdy died in 2013 after battling cancer.

In her memoir, McCurdy revealed she had been pushed into acting by her mother at a young age. The actress and author started as a child star and became well known for starring in the Nickelodeon series "iCarly" and "Sam & Cat," which also starred Ariana Grande. 

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According to McCurdy, she struggled with eating disorders and anxiety tied to her mother's manipulation.

She described her mom's reaction when McCurdy attempted to broach the subject of quitting acting during her "Call Her Daddy" appearance.

"There was one time when I had tried to bring it up to my mom and said like, 'I really, I don't wanna act anymore.' I was in the car, we were in our old Ford Windstar on the 101, and she really instantly went into that kind of - the mood switch that was really, really common to her. Where it was, 'What? No, you're gonna break mommy's heart. What? No, you're so good. This is our chance, this is our chance, this is our family's chance.'"

"And it's, I mean, it's hysterics, it's that, but it's like tears pouring down the cheek screaming like really, really hysterical response," she said.